Hello from ant1mat3rie on Vimeo.
I was just looking at the weather report (because it is SO COLD! and it is finally supposed to start raining this week) and saw that on Thursday, there is a 100% chance of rain.
Really? 100%?
I don’t think that is actually statistically possible. I mean, there isn’t even a 100% chance that the sun will rise tomorrow, so how can they say there is a 100% chance of rain? 99.99999% chance of rain, I have no problem with, but unless is is actually raining right this minute, and you tell me that there is currently a 100% chance of rain for the present moment, 100% is a crap prediction. BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW!
Have none of these weather people taken a flippin’ statistics course??
Did you know about this?
You think of a celebrity type person, and the computer genie figures it out, 20-questions style. It is pretty much amazing. He guessed David Sedaris, Amy Sedaris, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Joel Osteen in far fewer guesses than you’d think. I’m obsessed. Try it right now!!
Trick-or-Treaters are fun for about the first hour, and then, honestly, I’m pretty much over it.
While I did manage to grow a total of of 15 pumpkins of assorted shapes and sizes (not including those still on the vine outside), I was far too lazy to carve even one. So tonight, I stuck one of the mangier ones (one that is extra chicken-pecked) on the porch to be festive and signal to the Trick-or-Treaters: “There is candy here.”
Casey-dog is locked safely in her crate with a giant bone. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that last year. It is pretty much genius. Children aren’t freaked out by a giant dog lunging after them while I try to hold her back with one arm, and wave a colander of candy at them with the other and get them to get out of here as fast as their little costumed selves can go, and Casey is happy with her super treat. Much less stress with the dog in the crate.
I can hear the trick-or-treaters trudging along my porch, so I also have ample time to put down my beer, and take my laptop off of my actual lap and get myself to the door. I can also hear them say things like: “This house doesn’t have a doorbell!” Which is true. I forgot about that.
Technically, I do have a doorbell. It is in a bag somewhere in my garage where it has been sitting for over a year.
Anywho, I’ve only had about five sets of trick-or-treaters so far. Last year, I’m pretty sure I had given out all of my candy by 8 PM. 30 minutes left, kids, and then I’m turning into a pumpkin myself, and the porch light goes off.
One batch of trick-or-treaters was super polite, but a little bit confused on when you say which words.
Them: Trick or Treat!
Me: Oh! What a nice costume! Happy Halloween!
Them: You’re welcome!
That has kind of been the highlight so far.
More trick-or-treater confusion: I just heard some kids come to my door, and then apparently freak out that there was no doorbell. One of them said: “just knock!” But the others must have vetoed, it and they all left! With no knocking and no candy! These are our future leaders, America: not sure what to do when there is not an actual doorbell.
Now another group came, and just stood outside the door and yelled “TRICK OR TREAT!” Through the closed door!
Sigh. Bless their hearts.
Happy Halloween!
UPDATE: 7:45 and the porch light is off! The last batch of kids got a fistful of candy each- and one of those kids was dressed as a pimp, which to me, signals LIGHTS OUT! The Halloween Grinch is DONE!
The last image I posted vanished into the interwebs, so here is a link….
link to the funniest thing ever
Hopefully that works!
Here’s a few days worth of eggs:
Usually I get three distinct shades, but last week there was some unsualness. Like spots!
And usually Greta-Chicken has dark brown eggs, but last week they kept getting lighter and lighter.
They’re back to dark brown again. Isn’t that strange?
Because I have no shame. And because I got tired of writing my own name.
I swear I did not do this.
I found a giant dog bone with the wrapping supplies. Is someone trying to tell me something? Either this is my gift from Casey, or it is her list to Santa.
Dear Santa,
More of these, please. I’ve been a good dog. Well, sort of. Somtimes. I mean, I haven’t eaten any furniture and that’s good, right?
Love,
Casey
The days only get longer from here… hooray!
